A quilt of Lexi's clothes

It's been almost nine months and I finally went through Lexi's clothes in her dresser, her closet and the bins of baby clothes that I had been saving in the garage. I wasn't in any rush to go through them but I also haven't been putting it off. Initially, I took the time that I needed so that I could be emotionally ready. But, lately, I really just needed a time that I could set aside and do it and so Saturday was the day. Truthfully, I thought it would only take me an hour or so to do it, so I was surprised when 4 1/2 hours later I was "pretty much" done.

Last summer, my mom offered to make a quilt using Lexi's clothes, which I thought was such a great idea. Some of the clothes were not really items that could be used on the quilt because of the material- like sweaters, or because of the item- like a simple, all-black pair of cotton pants that wouldn't look that great on a quilt. So, I made three piles: quilt, give to friends, or save for possible summer Solace girls.

I had been preparing for this day of going through her clothes for many months so I felt that I was emotionally prepared and ready. Overall, I feel like I did pretty well with the whole process. However, I was caught off guard with how I was affected by her most recently worn clothes. I thought that her baby clothes would be the most difficult for me to go through, but it was actually the clothes that she had worn most often and most recently that were the hardest for me to go through. I was fine if the clothes were going to be a part of the quilt because I knew that I would be seeing them often. But, some of the clothing that was not going to be a part of the quilt was difficult to know what to do with. For example, Lexi had a simple pair of Gap cotton, white pants that she wore for almost three years- nothing special and I probably didn't pay more than $10 for them. At first, they were long pants and then they became capri pants as we just rolled them up. They were super comfy so she wore them all the time- definitely got our money's worth out of those pants. These pants weren't great for the quilt because they are just white cotton, but I just couldn't part with them. There were a few other pieces of clothing like that too. So, I decided that I would just put them in a bin out in the garage and then in a few years I would look at them again to see what I wanted to do with them then.

My mom mentioned that she could possibly make three quilts if there were enough clothes- one quilt for me, one for Chelsea and one for my mom to keep. I'm not sure how long one (or more) quilts will take to make but as soon as the first one is done, I'll post a picture. The quilt should be another great reminder of our sweet Lexi.

Our second donation from the memorial fund

There are many causes out there that are worthy of people's donations. We continue to look for ways that we can connect a donation from the memorial fund with Lexi's life. And we want God's love to be known in the process.

Our friends, Mo and Rebekah Padilla, adopted two children from Ghana in 2009. I remember that Lexi had just gotten out of a two-and-a-half week stay in the hospital when we got to celebrate the arrival and adoption of the Padilla's two children from Ghana. Recently, we heard from Rebekah about a project that was taking place to bring a water line to the orphanage and village in Ghana that they adopted from. The current water well they have now is very contaminated and is infecting children with deadly parasites.

We were honored to be able to donate money from Lexi's memorial fund to the water project. It was a neat way for Lexi to be connected to their two children from Ghana and for us to help children become healthy. Lexi spent much of her time battling seizures, visiting doctors, taking medications, staying in hospitals, etc. But, we are so thankful that we could do our best to keep her as healthy as possible and provide her with lots of care. We know how important it is for children to be healthy and we are excited to see how Lexi's life can continue to help other children be healthy.

Our first donation from Lexi’s memorial fund

For more than eight months, there has been money sitting in an account waiting to be used to help others. We have know this but have not been able to give much mental thought to it as we have spent so much mental and emotional energy on grieving these past few months. Just recently it seems our ears and hearts have been more open and aware to opportunities that may present themselves to us as to how we can use some of that money to help others in memory of Lexi.

Last year, we had the joy of being involved with an organization called Solace for the Children, where we hosted an Afghani girl in our home for six weeks while she was here for much needed medical care. She was only here 10 days when Lexi passed away, but we continued to host her in our home for the remainder of her time here. Our hearts will always be closely linked to the Solace for the Children organization.

Last week, we heard of a young Afghani girl who had previously come to the US one summer through Solace for the Children. Her medical needs were addressed and she was sent back with medicine to help with her newly diagnosed condition. However, we heard through Solace that her medicine was running out and that they were looking for people to donate money for another year's supply of medicine. We were excited to be able to give money from Lexi's memorial fund towards that year's supply of medicine. It was so great for us to give money in her honor and to see how Lexi continued to be connected to the Solace for the Children organization.

Our first donation from the memorial fund brought us great joy and we are excited for future opportunities that will present themselves to us so that we can continue to give in memory and honor of Lexi.

The beginning of Lexi's blog- why a blog now?

Our daughter, Lexi Noelle Valladares, was only with us a short time but she made a big impact on our lives and many others. It was always our intention to create a blog where people could come to read about Lexi's life. But, with the extended care that Lexi required, that left us with little time to update a blog. Thankfully, via email, Facebook and word of mouth, our friends and family were able to be kept up-to-date on Lexi's life.

Although she is no longer physically with us, she remains in our hearts daily and we, as her family, are left to carry on her legacy. It is our priviledge and joy to share about her life, the impact she had, and how she continues to be a light in this world. We will continue to be her voice and to tell the world of her purpose here on earth.

So, what was her purpose and what is her legacy? Those are important questions for all of us to ask ourselves. Years ago, we wrestled with what her purpose was. In a world that so easily defines purpose in terms of productivity, what you can physically do, it was something we took to God. What would the life of a little girl look like who could not walk, talk, eat, play, etc? But, in those times of turning to God we knew that her purpose here was to bring God glory. And we looked for opportunities to allow her to do that, and to be her voice in doing so, if need be. And now in carrying on her legacy, we purposefully look for ways that we can share her life with others and bring glory to her Creator who loved her beyond what we can imagine.

In July 2010, we were honored to start a memorial fund in her memory. The grieving process has been intense these past 8 months and so we are just now starting to find ways to give monetarily from that fund to help others in Lexi's memory.

So, maybe you have stumbled upon this blog via word of mouth, or maybe you are a close friend or family member who has come here to be reminded of Lexi's life and her impact in this world. We hope this blog will be a way for us to share ways God is continuing to use Lexi and her life to bring Him glory, to share insight into our grieving process, to potentially minister to and encourage others, and to share how we have been able to help others through donations from Lexi's memorial fund.